The Window of Tolerance
Throughout this Fall I have written about the importance of diving into emotions during the therapeutic process. I have also written about how emotional expression is tied to the experiences we have had as a young person. This is all important stuff however becoming overwhelmed by emotions feels horrible and, on the flip, side sharing difficult experiences without emotionally engaging with them has not proven to be an effective way to experience therapeutic growth. In short, an individual needs to be in the right frame of mind to go through emotional content for it to have a positive mental health effect. Part of my job as a therapist is to monitor the client’s emotional state and support them in managing the emotions that come up.
To help with this there is something called the Window of Tolerance.
Simply put the window of tolerance is a way to track the emotional readiness of an individual to explore the content they are bringing forward. Too emotionally raw and the experience of diving into emotions can overwhelm the person which makes healthy processing of their experiences impossible (this is when someone is in a hyper-aroused state). In this case, you can visualize the person as being above their window of tolerance. Conversely, if the client is distancing themselves from their emotions by, for example, numbing themselves they are considered below their window of tolerance (that is when someone is in a hypo-aroused state). It has been shown that the most effective therapy takes place when the client is firmly inside their window of tolerance; engaged in the emotions associated with the content they are sharing but not being overwhelmed by them.
In my work as a therapist, I aim to elicit emotion while not overwhelming the client. That is why in my work I always watch for emotional expression. If the client begins to look engulfed in their emotional state, I check in with them and if needed we use a series of grounding techniques to lower the intensity of the session. If on the other hand, the client is removing their emotions from the counselling session, I then aim to slow the process down. From this slower pace, I may illicit emotion by, for example, asking the client to reflect on how they feel in their body as they are sharing. If the client still doesn’t want to engage in their emotions, I respect that; there is probably a good reason for it, and we can talk about that good reason instead!
With all that being said as a therapist, I am here to help you dive into your emotions. You can bring them live in the therapy session. You can be mad, sad, low, depressed, joy-filled, happy, angry, rageful, spiteful and everything in between. You can always expect a non-judgmental environment that allows you to process your experience. And if you start to feel overwhelmed by these emotions my role is to help you return to your therapeutic window. We can take deep breaths together, visualize a calming place or simply tell a joke. Lastly, if you don't feel ready to share your emotions, I understand that as well and I will respect it.
If you are interested in working through your emotions, I am here. You can book a free 15-minute conversation. In the call, I can share a bit more of how I work and then, much more importantly you can share what is going on for you.
Photo Courtesy of Kristina Paukshtite
